What are You Thankful For?
by dcj
Summary: Sam & Andy are suspended so what could they possibly be thankful for this year?  Traci would have never guessed in a million years.  The story is mainly from the POV's of Oliver and Traci, but it is definitely McSwarek centric.


This story popped into my head when I was trying to decide if I could think of something to write for Thanksgiving. I too am playing around with the timeline a little. I realize that there was snow on the ground when everything went down with Brennan, but let's pretend shall we that it was a freak snowstorm in September and that it all happened prior to Thanksgiving. Please?

Although this story is mainly from the POV's of Oliver and Traci, it is definitely McSwarek. Hope you enjoy! Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Thanks Sairs!

Disclaimer: I own nothing Rookie Blue.

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><p>Traci Nash looked around the table in wonder. If anyone had told her last year that she and Leo would be sitting around Oliver Shaw's dining room table for Thanksgiving dinner, she would have told them they were crazy.<p>

Sure he and Jerry were good friends, and Jerry was expected every year, but being included in the invitation still caught her off guard a little. It's not that she didn't like Oliver; she did. It's just that Jerry's friendship with Oliver and Sam always seemed so…separate. She didn't know if they did it on purpose, but they always sat at their own table at the Penny, had their boys' nights and poker nights and although she and Jerry were getting pretty serious, an offer to join anything to do with the 'boys' club' was rarely extended.

For his part, Oliver was happy that Traci was there; she was polite and gracious and immediately upon entering their home she had thanked him and told him how much she appreciated being included. Truth be told, he was glad to do it, and pleased for his friend. He had been around when Jerry's marriage had gone to hell and it hadn't been pretty. So it was nice to see Jerry settle down and be happy again. The last year of his marriage had taken its toll and it had been a long time since Oliver had seen him just…content. It was nice and he couldn't help but be happy for his friend…at least one of them anyway.

Because Sam, well right now he was another story.

Oliver was known to be a betting man and he never seemed to shy away from heavy odds, but never in a million years would he have bet that Sam would meet his match, that he would even remotely consider any kind of long term commitment with anything or anyone. But it was looking more and more like they would be setting another place at the table…unfortunately just not this year.

Well, two out of three ain't bad Oliver decided as he noted the grin on his wife's face as she spoke with Traci. Zoe seemed genuinely thrilled to finally be including another adult female in the celebrations. And when Traci offered to help with the preparations, Zoe was elated; obviously his boys tried every year, but it wasn't the same and it usually ended with at least one of them getting kicked out of the kitchen.

This year, that was not going to happen. The boys made themselves comfortable in the family room as the two ladies enjoyed some small talk in the kitchen while they put the finishing touches on the meal. No voices were raised, no hands were slapped and most of all there were no sarcastic remarks that ended with icy glares and a raised finger…pointing the way out.

One part of the preparation didn't change though, and that was the fact that they had to leave the carving to Oliver who was more than happy to make a big production out of the entire process. You would have thought he was in the running for an Oscar.

Traci laughed as Sam and Jerry rolled their eyes; clearly this was part of a tradition they were subjected to each and every year. And Traci was about to get schooled on just how much ritual was involved during a holiday at the Shaw household.

Without words, many things started happening at once while she and Leo watched the well oiled machine at work. Oliver carved the turkey in front of his captive audience. The kids all giggled at his grand gestures and running commentary before arguing over whose turn it was to get the wishbone.

Zoe moved around the table with more grace than Traci would ever associate with Oliver and by extension any member of his immediate family. But there really was no other word for it. She practically glided around the table as she filled everyone's glasses with wine or juice before she finally sat down at her seat next to Oliver's.

Sam and Jerry picked up bowls of food almost simultaneously, taking what they wanted before passing the bowl to the person on their immediate left and reaching for the next item. They were seated across the table from each other and it was almost like watching mirror images, with two notable exceptions that Traci was sure weren't customary.

One, Jerry was heaping his plate full of food, while Sam's plate looked more like the one you'd see in front of a desperate woman on a first date. Given the circumstances, she probably shouldn't have been surprised, but Traci was; there's no way a guy like Sam ate like that, especially on Thanksgiving.

She dared a glance around the table to see if anyone else thought it was a little off, and from the look on Zoe's face Traci knew she was right. The look was full of concern and complete helplessness; Traci could see that it obviously bothered her but it was also clear that Zoe had no idea what to do.

Traci was startled out of her contemplation when Zoe's gaze snapped quickly back to her plate. She obviously did not want to get caught looking, and Traci couldn't blame her. Swarek could not tolerate pity and getting his ire up was not something any of them would welcome. A depressed Sam wouldn't be their first choice for a dinner partner but he was still preferred over irate Sam.

Zoe may have averted her gaze, but the frown had still not left her face and Traci wasn't the only who had noticed.

Oliver knew what was on his wife's mind because it was the same thing that was on his. This wasn't the first time they had had Sam over for supper during his suspension, but the result was always the same; he took just enough food so as not to hurt Zoe's feelings. But that didn't stop her from worrying; 'this was not the Sam she knew' she told Oliver at the end of each night when she reminded him that any other time Sam would have to force himself to stop at seconds before taking 'thirds' home with him.

Oliver knew she was right, but he also knew that it was out of their control. And although his wife did not like to sit idly by when a friend was hurting, he reminded her each and every time that all they could do was wait it out. It would get better, he assured her.

It still drove her crazy though, and she continued to invite Sam over even more often than usual. Typically they had him over once a month, but Zoe was convinced that he wasn't eating at all and Oliver couldn't deny it, so he had been 'encouraged' to ask Sam at least once a week.

The first week, Sam had been too pissed off to eat; his hands and mouth more concerned with ranting and raving about how unfair it was and trying to figure out what the hell good this was supposed to accomplish. The second week, his mind was focused on just one thing, how Andy was doing, and food held no interest for him. And now, this week, especially today, he was just going through the motions...biding his time.

Traci watched as Oliver reached over and placed his hand on that of his wife's. She shook her head before meeting his encouraging eye; words weren't necessary as she graced him with a smile and proceeded to fill her plate. Point taken.

The other even more significant difference Traci noted between the two men, Jerry's face held a large smile and sparkling eyes as he chatted animatedly with anyone and everyone at the table. Sam's face, well it looked like it hadn't seen a smile in weeks…or 17 days to be exact…the precise number of days since his suspension began and he had been informed that he was forbidden to have any contact whatsoever with 'Officer Andrea McNally'.

And with 11 days still to go in their sentence, it looked to Traci like the dimples were going to remain in exile for as long as he did.

This strict no contact rule wasn't just killing Sam and Andy though; their friends were suffering too. Both Traci and Oliver would have been happy to play messenger or go between but Best had informed everyone in no uncertain terms, that anyone who even thought about helping them circumvent the rules could reserve themselves a seat in booking for an indeterminate amount of time. And so they were all condemned to a slow and painful month doing whatever they could to keep their friends from going crazy.

As best friends, Traci and Oliver took the brunt of that responsibility and spent the majority of their time talking Andy and Sam off the ledge. And that was why Traci had conceded when Andy wanted to host yesterday's annual 'Rookie Thanksgiving'.

Generally, Traci and her mom hosted all the rookies at their place, but this year Andy had practically begged Traci to let her host at her new condo. Andy had already unpacked, decorated, redecorated…anything she could think of she had done. She needed this and they both knew it. Without something to focus on, Traci was certain that Andy would do nothing but think about Sam and what happened, and what he was doing, and did he still want to be together. It was not healthy, especially with almost two weeks still remaining.

So how could she say no? If it would give her friend even a few moments of peace, it would be well worth it. The fact that Traci and the rest of the gang had to work the early shift and Traci's mom would have had to do most of the work cemented it for her. So she told Andy yes.

The meal was amazing and it had kept Andy busy for a couple of days, and although Traci was sure that she had been at least somewhat distracted, the smile on her face never did quite make it to her eyes. The look had actually been eerily similar to the one Sam Swarek was sporting right this very moment. _How ironic that they were so clearly in this together. _

"What are you thankful for?" Oliver posed, breaking Traci away from her reverie.

Sam spoke up first, but only to complain; he wasn't feeling very grateful right now. "Please, Oliver, not this time. You do this every year and I just…"

"And every year you grouch about it." Oliver interrupted. "I know it's not good right now, but there must be something you're thankful for." _There had to something…anything._

"Come on Ollie; Sam's right." Jerry argued. "Why do we have to do this every year when it's always the same?"

Jerry shook his head and continued without waiting for an answer. "You'll say my family, and then Zoe will put her hand on your arm and smile up at you before she says 'me too'. Then I'll say poker night and Sammy will say something silly like a 'Henway'."

Oliver's youngest piped up as if on cue. "What's a Henway?"

Jerry pointed at her with a grin. "And then that happens."

Oliver's older two started to giggle before declaring proudly. "About 3 pounds."

"And then that…" He announced.

Pleased with himself, Jerry then turned expectantly to Sam who was supposed to smirk and look on proudly as his willing disciples carried on his sacred tradition of lame jokes at the dinner table.

Unfortunately though, all Jerry got was a blank stare; he turned back to Oliver. "Well that's new."

"Just humor me okay?" Oliver beseeched; he really needed to find something for Sam to hold onto.

"Fine." Jerry agreed.

"Nash, you first." Oliver instructed.

As expected, Traci said her friends and family before Leo proudly stated that he was thankful for the X-Box Jerry got them last week.

"Leo!" Traci chastised.

But before she could go any further, Oliver held up his hand. "It's all good Nash. He said what made him happy, and that's a fine reason to be thankful."

"Great answer!" Jerry commended offering his closed hand for a fist bump while studiously ignoring Traci's cold stare.

Her disappointment was short lived when she realized how happy the answer made both Jerry and Leo and she turned to listen first to Izzie's and then to Oliver's answer. She smirked when as predicted, Oliver happily announced that he was grateful for his wonderful family and Zoe couldn't help but place her hand on his arm and smile up into his eyes when she agreed. Their love and commitment to each other was palpable and Traci couldn't think of a better reason to be thankful. _No wonder their answer never changed._

The two younger Shaw girls had similar answers to Leo's and Traci controlled the eye roll when Oliver shot her a warning look to remind her that if they were happy, he was happy. And he obviously knew what he was doing as you could feel the love and contentment coming from this family in spades.

They all turned expectantly to Sam who didn't even seem to register the fact that it was his turn. So Jerry decided to let him off the hook and cleared his throat loudly.

"Don't you dare say Poker!" Traci warned; it was okay for the kids to get off easy, but they deserved a more mature answer out of him.

Jerry smirked at her. "Party pooper! Okay then…I'm thankful for more doors and a natural back seat."

Traci grinned and placed her hand lovingly on his arm while Oliver just shook his head. _At least it made sense to her. _He turned back to Sam, reluctant to let him off the hook as Jerry had. He really wanted his friend to find something he could hang onto. "Come on, Sammy. There has to be something."

"Sam." Zoe prompted softly causing him to look up.

"Hmm?"

"What you're thankful for." She reminded.

Sam let out a resigned sigh and offered the first thing that popped into his head. "Pistachio Ice Cream."

"Seriously?" Traci scoffed as they the rest of the adults shot her a look of disbelief;_ couldn't she give the guy a break? He was hurting here._

She looked at everyone around the table before fixing her gaze on Sam. "I'm sorry but this suspension is affecting your brains."

"I realize I'm a smart guy Nash," Sam shot back without thinking. "But even I only have one brain."

Jerry and Oliver perked up at the short glimpse of the old smart ass Sammy they knew and loved.

"Not just you smart a…y pants…Andy."

Oliver couldn't believe she went there; she needed to cut the guy some slack, and Jerry obviously agreed because he rewarded her mention of 'she who must not be named' with a furrowed brow and hard stare.

"I'm sorry but what the hel…heck is with those two?" _Dammit why did there have to be kids around?_

"What are you talking about?" Jerry wondered. _Wasn't it obvious? She knew what was going on. She knew how hard it was on Andy; she had to realize that it would be equally hard on Sam. _

"No one even likes pistachio ice cream." She complained before carrying on without a breath. "Or grapefruit juice for that matter."

Sam's head snapped up. "What did you say?"

Jerry, Oliver and Zoe exchanged looks of confusion. Traci's answer made little or no sense to them, yet Sam's response was the most life they'd seen out of him all night. They waited for her to continue.

"I don't know what the hell is going on but everyone knows you're supposed to say friends, family, loved ones…for heaven's sake, especially now, you of all people," she griped, flailing her arms at Sam and an absent Andy, "both of you, you should be thanking your lucky stars for the ones you LOVE."

_Wow! _Oliver was impressed; she was going all out. He had tried calling Sammy out on his feelings for McNally before but he never outright used the L word. He was almost ready to bow down to the master when the tirade continued.

"Who the hell says pistachio ice cream? And then yesterday, when we ask Andy…what does she say?"

"Grapefruit juice?" Zoe guessed quietly not quite sure of the significance or the problem.

"Exactly! She says grapefruit juice. I swear. The woman doesn't even like grapefruit juice. I have never seen her order anything other than orange juice, ever, and I've known her for a long time."

With Traci's diatribe apparently complete, all eyes focused on Sam, waiting for him to react and knowing him, offer her an earful.

They watched as he appeared to be contemplating everything she had just said. _Everyone had told him over and over that Andy wasn't doing well either, but without seeing her firsthand and looking in her eyes he couldn't know for sure what was troubling her. It didn't matter what anyone said; he had still worried. Maybe she was just upset about the suspension; maybe she was just mad because she didn't like time or space and now she was drowning in it._

They all knew when it was finally coming and braced themselves as his eyes started taking on a new life, but it was definitely not the reaction they expected. Sam actually started to chuckle.

Without knowing it, Traci had been able to do what no one had succeeded at in the last couple of weeks. He finally just knew; he knew that Andy missed him as much as he missed her. He knew that those nights, and that morning, meant as much to her as they did to him. And he knew that when they could finally be together that everything would be okay.

Traci may have thought that their answers were a copout (no pun intended), but they spoke more truth than she would ever know. They didn't need to name names or put a conventional label on it for the two of them to convey just how much they meant to each other.

The entire adult population of the table was in shock; Sam had barely cracked a smile in weeks and here he was snickering. He looked up at all the expectant faces and shrugged his shoulders. "What? I happen to really like grapefruit juice!"

And with that he added another couple of servings to his plate. A slight grin remained ever present on his face though everyone could see that his mind was a million miles away…or maybe just on the other side of the city in a cozy, loft apartment.

Oliver couldn't help the corresponding smile that crept onto his own face. He had no idea what had gotten into Sam but he had a feeling that Sam most definitely did enjoy grapefruit juice…and likely sharing it as well.

He nodded to himself as he watched his friend's appetite miraculously reappear. Now that was something to be thankful for…that and the fact that when you've got the promise of a lifetime to look forward to, eleven days really wasn't that long.

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><p>AN: The Harry Potter reference is a shout out to my daughter - huge HP fan!<p> 


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